What I do not want.

Not knowing what you want is normal! What I have come to realize in recent times is that:  I do not know what I want. However; I know what I do not want! It might sound crazy, but, it’s the truth.

I know I do not want to settle for less.

I know I do not want to be a mediocre.

I know I do not want to be an ordinary woman.

It’s also funny that I do not know how I want to achieve all the feats I imagine or wish for myself. But I do know for sure that my dreams will come true. It might take me some time, but, I will someday stand up tall as a great woman. A woman who will leave her marks on the sands of time.

I write to you, you who has been tagged worthless. I write to you,  you who has given up on life…do not give up! Even if the world thinks less of you, I employ  you to think ‘more’ of yourself. Many a times, you need to place yourself in a high esteem, especially when people are blind to see the value God has put inside of you. You need to search deep inside of yourself, to find that hidden gem and let it glow.  Do not shy away from shinning like the star that you are, the truth is: you need to know who you are. Even when the picture seems blurry; even when the future is in bleak; keep on keeping on.  Even if you are journeying  at a snail pace, someday, you will get thereconfused-3082831_960_720.

Remember; even if you do not what you want, you should know what you do not want!


Picture Credit: @Pixabay


What’s in this SEX?



I hope you are well, How has it been with you? Pray tell you are doing fine.

I intentionally stayed off social media, I had to tune off, because I observed that it was fast becoming an addiction that I had no power over, and I do not want it to control me, at least I am the one paying for my internet services.

Straight to what prompted my post today; I saw the LINDA IKEJI’S picture that has been causing a lot of uproars online. About; Pregnancy outside of wedlock, and virginity.

Okay; I am a Christian and I believe in the word of God and it’s efficacy. First let me address this: When the word of God says we should not have sex outside of marriage, it wasn’t because of God, but because of ourselves. Of course, if you are having sex, you should know that you are going to get pregnant at one point, and if you do not get pregnant, you are prone to all kinds of diseases, both physical and spiritual…(not going to spiritual let’s talk humanly); I am a single mom, yes I had sex outside of marriage, I have had sex with countless men, some that I can not even think or fathom what attracted me to such a men. ..The thing is ‘SEX’ beclouds your sense of reasoning, it confuses you, it makes you do some things that are unreasonable if you want to be truthful with yourself. Many a time, I have had sex, even when I do not want to, but because there’s the feeling of ‘well just do it’, the restraint is no longer there, like when you were ‘pure’…As a virgin; one can restrain oneself, once that innocence is gone, the restraining force becomes thin, very thin. Let me add this; what’s in this SEX that we clamor for? How many women ‘ORGASM’? Which is the height of sex! Staying pure is for your own good, not because of anybody, okay!

But, if you are like me, the purity is gone, it’s okay. God is not as difficult as people paint HIM to be, he is very merciful…if you know you can care for a child adequately, and you are mentally prepared for child rearing, I wish you all the best. ..Stop being judgmental, not everyone will get married…

Made For More

There’s more to being a girl child than being a sex object, thought to be a weaker sex.

It’s sad that as a young girl grows up, all that’s drummed into her ears; is how to be a good girl, who will be pleasing or pleasant enough to catch a good husband. Learning to be domesticated, not for self-gain but so she would be able to care for the husband and children she would later bear. It’s no surprise; that more women are not at the forefront as expected. Although more women are doing exploits in their chosen fields, like ‘Science, Technology, Engineering, Maths (STEM)’. Business, Entertainment…There are countless women who have not able to break free from the shackles of not being “good enough”. Needless to say that our culture is to be blamed for this archaic mindset, that must be trashed immediately, putting an end to the mind programming of our young girls, to be the perfect good girl, a good cook, working hard at being a future perfect wife. But; immediately begin to programme their minds with positive things like; they can become whoever or whatever they chose or want to become. Giving them a chance to dream big, spreading their wings to fly, aiming high to be like or better still better than the likes of ‘Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Dora Akunyili, Chimamanda Adichie,…and many Great Women who have achieved great feats.

It’s the season of women, Enjoy your womanhood, because you are made for more.SAVE TREES

Two ears, One Mouth.


One thing I am not so good at is the act of listening. I am a born talker; I bet I have been talking right from my mother’s womb. This talking character has put me in many mishaps than necessary as a young girl. Because I come from a place where you keep mute when elderly ones speak. For someone like me who is highly opinionated and heady, I got whooped countless times. Now that I am adult, I try as much as possible to curb this innate character; I try so hard believe me. I want to be a listener, a good one at that.

A friend rang me today to off load his mind, I ruined the moment by speaking(why didn’t I just keep quiet/must I talk?)…our conversation went awry and I felt bad. Here is someone who allows me to bare my mind whenever I need to. I know there are times we just want to bare our minds without being interrupted. Once you are interrupted; the moment is lost.170083452

I had to write about this because I know there’s someone out there who like me, feels bad for not being a better listener. Look, I guess we are better than some people who listens absent-mindedly (I am not justifying what I did wrong).

Being a good listener takes more than a trying; it takes work, practice and God’s grace. He; who created us with two ears, one mouth, knows what He’s doing. I know I will get there.

This year, I will be a better listener. So help me God.

What they didn’t tell you.

It is not news that ‘Determination’ is key in whatever goal you want to achieve or any hurdle you want to cross.

I have always wanted to braid my hair by myself , I do not really know how make hair; the only kind of hairstyle that I am good at; is to braid my natural hair without any attachments. Having watched different types of DIY videos online, I felt I was well equipped to braid my hair with some attachments. Alas, braiding is not a child’s play. I fumbled plenty of times. I almost even gave up due to lack of progress . But; I was super determined that I was  gonna braid my hair, not after I braced the brutal weather to go in search of attachment. So, I stood before my mirror and I got to work, after I had spent hours manipulating my hair and the attachment; the result is what you see in the picture below:20180106_190440It might not be as super nice,as what a professional hair stylist would do, but I am glad I was able to do this myself. I learnt that your hands would scream, your neck would complain, your legs would ache, even your scalp will not smile while you are trying to make your hair by yourself…No one told me these in all the DIY videos I watched.

Life lessons;

1. people only see the outward beauty, they do not see the battle you fought before you became beautiful.

2. People like to share their achievements, they do not like to share the problems/challenges they face on their journey.

Happy new year to you dear reader, I urge you to be full of determination in 2018, do not give up. Even when it seems you are moving at a snail’s pace, keep at it. You will get there.

Remain blessed.


I used to think I wasn’t beautiful.

Yeah; that was how I felt for a very long time, and it all started when I was growing up. I have always been an extrovert; you would see me everywhere, always at the forefront of things, always very active (even up till now, although toned down). But; somewhere along the line I lost that confidence. I became a shadow of myself, I lost my self-esteem, and I began to think low of myself, feeling un-lovable , seeking to find love in the wrong places. Seeking to please those I assumed were capable of giving me love and attention, at a point I even lost interest in pursuing my own dreams. If the foundation is faulty; what can the righteous do? We all know that a building that does not have a solid foundation cannot stand the test of time. I am not writing to cast blame on anybody, because all that I passed through shaped me to become who I am today. Yes; those times were very challenging for me, but those times toughened me, they made me stronger, they made me the woman who I am today, and I can boldly say I am an ‘Exceptional’ woman. Yes I still have a long way to go, I still have lots of hurdles to cross, the journey ahead of me is still far, but I will get there, because I am not going to give up.

I write to you who has given up on life, please do not give up just yet because God is taking you through this trying times to make a better person of you, an outstanding person, a person of influence, or how else would you have a story to tell if you have no experience?

In conclusion, I am confident now that I am a beautiful woman, not just because people tell me, I know for a fact that I am a beauty to behold, to crown it; I know God made me wonderfully and beautifully. I urge you to go into 2018 with a heart of gratitude and keep believing that things will get better; do not give up just yet. Have a prosperous New Year and a Be confidentvery merry Christmas

Is it by force?

Marriage is not by force.

Marriage is not for everyone.

It’s not everyone who will get married.

It’s a fact. Stop killing yourself over what the society will say. The stereotype of you growing older, therefore you must get married before a certain age is so wrong. I have said it before; it’s not until when we stop treating marriage as a competition or an achievement, there will not be an end to failed marriages.

90% of marriages these days are based on societal pressure. Most people get married because all of their friends are married then they begin to feel left out, what if you were not destined to get married? What if? (Just asking) I am more concerned about women, because I am a woman and it pains me to see some women suffer in marriages. Do not get me wrong, of course there are good marriages and people still get married to great partners. It’s only sad that what we call marriage these days is the opposite of what it should be.

On a last note; It pays to be single and happy than to be married and miserable. You need to always consider your own well-being, before any other thing.